Sean and Kate of Sean and Kate Plus Hate fame sheepishly pose for photographers in Cannes, France. They were reportedly shocked to need no registration or ticket, which they later found out was due to the fact that the Cannes Festival does not begin for another two weeks.
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It has been 2012 for less than a month and already, Hayden Panettiere, actress known for “Remember the Titans,” “Heroes,” and “I Love You Beth Cooper,” has won preemptively the “Bitch of the Year” award. This infamous trophy has in the past been awarded to Mariah Carey, Nicole Kidman, and Owen Wilson, but only after months of deliberation by the “Counsel of Nasty Women.” Chelsea Handler and Joan Rivers, the chairwomen of the board, issued a press release last night declaring that
“[Hayden] Panettiere’s blatant disregard for personal space, general sour disposition, and her preachy activism about saving whales and preventing teenage pregnancy all add to this bitch vibe. Don’t you just get a bitchy vibe from her? And why don’t you ask her about her misspelled Italian tattoo! Pretentious much?!”
Of course, we doubt that this well-deserved beat down from the Counsel will do anything to deter the smug-faced actress from continuing being a vegetarian and acting as a sly young girl in films and television shows.
Panettiere, 22, debuts her new bob hairdo. The audacity of some celebs!
Move over “Secret Life,” we have something to spill: ABC Family has ordered twenty new series for 2012! What can fans expect? Dramatic, new, and exciting outfits!
SK+H8 has the exclusive scoop on a phenom that’s sweeping single babies from coast to coast – the pressure to belong to a set of multiples!
“Britni’s energy is so low lately. You can just tell she wants a little playmate to look and dress exactly like her,” said Alaska native Cheryl M. of her three-month-old. She’s not the only one – in a study conducted by SK+H8, eight out of ten mothers reported that their baby seems “less than satisfied” with their status as a singleton birth.
Most pregnancies involve one fertilized egg, or zygote. Multiple birth happens when a fertilized egg divides, or multiple zygotes occupy the womb.
Experts think babies envy the multiple lifestyle due to the popularity of large family shows such as “Table for 12,” “Raising Sextuplets,” and “Kate Plus 8 (née “John and Kate”).”
“These shows are absolute forces of nature,” says infant psychologist Bertram Schwick. “Millions tune in to watch inordinately large families buy groceries, visit the dentist, and go on low-impact, family friendly outings. It’s obvious why, by comparison, single neonates would feel that their lives aren’t interesting enough for television.”
Studies about the effect of non-multiples specific programming such as “19 Kids and Counting” have been inconclusive.
We’re familiar with high-maintenance celebrities around here—Chloe Sevigny, Zoe Saldana, Katherine Heigl, Paula Deen—and Beyoncé’s unborn child is no different. The fetus allegedly requires daily meals of “Pickles and Ice Cream” to be eaten by Knowles, as well as “Crab Pretzels.”
Not only does ze require specialty, gourmet foods to be served to her at odd hours of the night, but ze also demands a personalized room within a 7 bedroom $6.5 million dollar home in Indian Creek Village, Florida.
The fetus’s antics have driven Beyoncé to “throw up in the mornings, feel sick and heavy, and gain weight,” says an informed correspondant. Imagine how ze will act when Beyoncé gives birth!
Internet grammarians and user-created media devotees are criticizing the Wikipedia entry for Kaballah as having an “in-universe” narrative style.
Kabbalah, a school of thought centered around Jewish mysticism and made hot by celebs such as Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Madonna, promotes alternative scripture and meditation to explore concepts like perception and infinity. According to popular spirituality blog “The Painted Kabbalist,” the belief that everyone can “tap into energies” in order to “live their truth” is a cornerstone of the religion.
But what is self-actualization to some is an assault on style to others. SK+H8 spoke to Wikipedia author James Spake from Jupiter, FL, who explained Wikipedia’s quality standards. “People sometimes fall into the trap of writing about fictional events like they’re real. You see it most often with epic franchises, like Harry Potter, where there’s just a myriad of detail,” said Spake, adding that most articles are flagged for poor writing and then corrected, but some of the more obscure topics are left in rhetorical limbo. The article, titled “Kabbalah,” is anomalous in that it gets high traffic but persists in its façade of true reportage.
“Here,” said Spake, pointing to the article on his computer screen. “When they’re talking about how God’s non-corporeal feminine aspect can only be reached in the upper four levels of consciousness? They should have used block quotation, to show that it’s referring to something that happened in the book,” he explained, referring to the religion’s central text, the Zohar.
After overhauling the article, Wikipedians plan to take on the article for Chobits, a series of Japanese graphic novels that follow the blossoming relationship of a young man and an android who resembles a teenage girl with cat ears.
